Growing up I learned wrong ideas about what love was. I had food, clothing and shelter. And had a few things I wanted. I had the material things, but not the emotional things. As an adult looking back, I know that my mom loved me. She took time to teach me how to make patterns for Barbie clothes and taught me how to sew. After learning about her childhood, I don't think she knew how to show me love and affection. She had an extremely difficult childhood. One that makes me feel compassion towards her.
I believe my father loved me, but I think there was some resentment towards me as well. He was able to show love and affection to other kids, but seemed to keep me at arms length. I remember him telling me he loved me twice in my whole life. Fotunately I did feel that love connection with him a few days before he died.
There was five separate incidents of sexual abuse / inappropriate behavior when I was a child. I was 3 or 4 years old when the first one happened, about 12 at the last one. My parents only knew about the last one. I dont blame them, they didn't know about the others. No one knew until about 25 years later. None the less, it led me to equate sex with love. That one wrong idea had a negative impact on my life for many years and caused me alot of heartache.
I am grateful that I learned the difference. Im grateful that I've learned how to love myself. I now know that love is connecting of the souls and sex is a physical connection with no love required. Sex will not fill the empty void that needs to be filled with love. Food, clothing and shelter are necessities of life, but that alone does not fill the void either.
Accept Gods love and learn to love yourself is a great place to start.
If you have kids, hug them and tell them you love them every day. Show them they are valued by you. And tell them God loves them.John 3:16
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